Just Married…

I finally married the love of my life!  There is so much to say about our magical day in June of this year, that I have struggled with where to begin.  I have decided to break it up into 3 posts because there are so many pictures, so beautifully captured by our photographer, Elizabeth Burji.

Today I will start where it all began, with man I married.  For the most part, my new husband prefers to remain a mystery from this public domain that I call thestylenav.com.   For the purposes of this post though, I felt it important to tell about my amazing partner.   Although this part of my life isn’t as transparent on my blog, he is truly the reason I am at the happiest point of my life.

Our First Date:

I met my husband, who I refer to as R.P., on Match.com, nearly 6 years ago.  I was recently separated from my ex-husband of 9 years, and I reluctantly signed up for the service. Online dating can be such a drag, but fortunately for me, I only had 2 awful dates before meeting Mr. Right.  The day R.P. first messaged me, I had actually decided I was going to take a break from online dating.   I was just not sure if I was ready, or if it was even for me.  That Sunday night in October of 2012, after a couple glasses of wine, I fortunately decided to look at my inbox one more time.  In there I found a promising email from a seemingly sweet, interesting, genuine, handsome, and intelligent man.   I was instantly back in the Match game.

On our first date, we met at a restaurant in my old West Hollywood neighborhood called Chaya, sadly, it closed this location a few years ago.  I remember the first time I saw R.P., he looked very handsome and grown up.  It felt a little like I was Carrie Bradshaw meeting Big for the first time.  I felt small, a little immature, and somehow unaccomplished next to this seriously successful man.  Although R.P. is actually 9 years older than me, this feeling of slight intimidation faded just minutes later.

We immediately hit it off and felt comfortable with each other.  He was just so real and there was no game because he, like me, was newly separated and terribly inexperienced with dating games.  By the end of our date, we both discussed mistakes we had made in our previous marriages and what we wanted in a new relationship.

Upon leaving Chaya (many hours and glasses of wine later),  I knew he wanted to have more children and that he would want them to be raised Jewish.  I knew that if I were to be with him and have children, that he would want me convert to Judaism.  In this age of feminism and religion seeming to be so polarizing,  I thought I would get a lot of criticism from people for even considering this.  I actually didn’t question it once, even on the first date.  Maybe because I was never all that connected to Christianity to begin with, or maybe because it was just worth it for the right relationship.

After a beautiful first date, R.P. walked me home and kissed me goodnight outside my building.  We had several whirlwind amazing dates for the next few months.  Dating R.P. was such a pleasure.  He was always surprising me with another amazing date or romantic gesture, and his spontaneity was incredibly refreshing.  I remember about a week after we met, I traveled to Vancouver for work and he had flowers sent to my hotel.  Another time about a year after we started dating, we were at dinner and I was leaving the next day for a business trip to Hawaii.  He decided to book a flight and join me on the trip literally the next morning.  The trip was so memorable that Hawaii is still one of our favorite places to visit together.

Second Time Around:

Life is complicated and so is marriage.  With both of us separated and divorces not finalized when we met, things were not always easy.  Because we were both in the same stage of our divorces, we had a lot of understanding of one another.

R.P. has 2 amazing children from his first marriage, who are now young adults.  They are the most awesome stepchildren, and also great siblings and role models  to our son.  When we first started dating, R.P.’s children were adolescents.  As one could imagine, they were a bit less than thrilled at the idea of dad with another woman.  I too am a child of divorce.  My parents both remarried within a few years, and I remember how difficult I was with my own stepmother as an early teen (sorry Meg!).  Because of my own childhood experience, I had lot of empathy for his children.  I always strived to help R.P.  gain perspective about what his kids were going through during these years of transition.

With children from the previous marriage, his first wife is still very much a part of our family.  Although I was a little apprehensive about this at first, she has turned out to be a really great friend.   I mean we obviously have some things in common, right?  In this day of modern families, it is just more healthy when everyone gets along!

The Other Man, Mr. Man:

I know, I know… First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby.  Wait… I think we got that backwards!  Welcome to modern adulthood.  R.P. and I both knew that we wanted at least one child together, but unfortunately I wasn’t getting any younger.  I moved into R.P.’s house and we had been planning to get married for over a year or so when we decided to start trying to get pregnant.    I had just turned 38 and we thought it would take a while to get pregnant, so we decided to start trying before we planned the wedding.  It just seemed more critical to focus on this stage first.  Fortunately I was one of the lucky ones who got pregnant in the first month of trying.  Honestly it made me wonder how I managed to NOT get pregnant for 38 years!

Mr. Man was born in September 2016, (about a month after I completed my Charlotte York style conversion to Judaism).  This was the happiest day of my life, hands down.  For years, I really didn’t know if I would have the chance to  become a mom.  That is why this Mom title is the most important one I will ever have.  From the beginning, R.P. was very involved and present.  He still brags about helping me push during labor and being the first to lay eyes on our beautiful son.

 

Although I never imagined having my child at my wedding, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  Mr. Man walked me down the aisle and really stole the show at our wedding.

 

Our Magical Day:

Our wedding was on June 10, 2018 at Descanso Gardens in La Canada, CA.  The gardens is a special place for our family, as we have been members for several years.  Mr. Man and I have visited the gardens almost weekly since he was about 2 weeks old, and R.P. and I went often when we were dating.  We wanted to get married at a place that meaningful to us and would give our guests a memorable experience as well.  This location accomplished both.  The ceremony and reception took place at the historic Boddy House, originally a residence for the founder of the gardens.  The glamorous but homey architecture of this home really set the tone for our special day.

Our ceremony was conducted on the lawn of the house, under a beautiful lace chuppah that was carried by both of R.P.’s older children, his brother, and my sister.  We were honored to have R.P.’s father, a retired Rabbi, conduct our wedding.  I don’t think his father quite realized how meaningful this was to us, but he was proud to announce after the service that he completed our nuptials in exactly 18 minutes.  The number 18 holds particularly special meaning in Judaism.

After the ceremony, our 75 guests made their way to cocktails in the vertical garden adjacent to the house, and then to the terrace for dinner.  We danced the night away on a fabulous black and white checkered floor, with some of our favorite California wines flowing endlessly.  I owe all of the flawless beautiful details to my wedding planner, Deanna Nash.  She made planning our wedding in just 3 months a fun, smooth, stress-free process.

 

Finally Married:

Although we are happy to finally be husband and wife, we would have this party again in a heartbeat if only we had another $40,000 sitting around.  We have yet to take a honeymoon, but are planning a trip in the fall.  This is the biggest challenge to having the baby before the wedding is getting the alone time.  I spent my first night away from Mr. Man on our wedding night when we went to the Langham Hotel in Pasadena for some much needed relaxation.  We are still talking about the heavenly grilled cheese sandwich we got at midnight from room service, as if it were the best meal of our lives.

More to come:

Stay tuned over the next several weeks, as I will be posting 2 more wedding articles.  Included will be all the details of what we wore, what we ate, and who did the flowers, and everything in between.